"your body loves you so much. swimming in near-freezing water I realize this. unpleasantness fades to chill fades to warmth in my chest and tingling in my upper arms. when I get out of the water and stand on the dock in the grayness of the mountains at the end of August I feel a head rush and I realize that my body has been stealing blood from my fingers and toes, my cranium, just to keep my freezing heart beating. or maybe to keep me from realizing that I am dying. not shivering but also not breathing quite right I realize maybe “love” isn’t the right word. maybe my body doesn’t love me, maybe it’s just putting a lot of effort into helping me forget that I am dying. but that is to be appreciated as well. I can’t get my toes warm for the rest of the day, even if I wear two pairs of socks."